Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
