yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
