I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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