Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
