his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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