I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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