Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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