At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
