I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
