So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
