you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
