hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
