if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
