I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
