I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
