My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
