imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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