well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
