I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
