lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
