seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
