dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize