I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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