why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
