she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
