i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
