Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
