My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
