i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Randomize
