problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
