Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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