brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
