69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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