margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
