I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
