actually, I'm a sock model
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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