does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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