About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
