Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
