The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
