Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
