are you so shy because you have an std?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
my liver is dry heaving
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