Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
