Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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