bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
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Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
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I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Pooping to opera.
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