is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
