What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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