how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
