even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
