Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
