i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
