well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
