The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
we should paint friendship bongs
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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