Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
