I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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