I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
