So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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