marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
