I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize