i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
