You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
