So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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