The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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