If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
