She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
