In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
